Avoiding the Blue Screen of Death

Well now that certainly didn't go as planned.
Coming back to Austin certainly had a rocky start at Polvo's. I was slammed with a lot of news and events that I had missed while I was gone, some good and some not so good. And, to make matters worse, the margaritas didn't even taste good! My favorite drink in all of Austin and I can barely stand the stuff anymore. I have found that with several food items now - my taste buds seem to have done a grand 180 on me when it comes to very sweet or very spicy foods. The margaritas taste incredibly tart and artificially flavored (which they are) and salsa that I didn't even used to blink an eye at now have me downing water and flagging the waiter for a glass of milk (ok, so maybe it's not that bad, but it certainly feels like it). My tolerance for alcohol has also gone down considerably. Where before I left I was known to be able to hold my liquor quite well, now, if I have two glasses of wine, you might as well put me in a cab because I am down for the count.
These are actually really good things and I hope they stick with me. Pants fit better now. Blouses button a bit easier and I feel better about myself than I did before I left. But then again, there is the slide. The slippery, slippery slope back into what was my life before. It doesn't take much. Saying 'yes' to one or two more parties than you planned on, going out for lunch a little too regularly or allowing a friend to buy you just one more drink. There is also the more treacherous slide of slipping back into other far more damaging emotional habits, which are the demons I'm trying to avoid most - and doing quite poorly at, I might add.
I can beat myself up all I want. Call myself all the names I can possibly think of and have people poke holes in my personality and habits all day long. It's not going to change anything. All I can do is present the best version I can of myself and count on the bolstering of others to lift me up when that version just isn't available at the moment. And really, that's all any of us can do, take charge of and handle with care the things we hold in our control - and let the rest be what will be.